Partners in Purpose - Tammy & Heath Francis

I’ve often heard married couples say that marriage is truly about the work you choose to put into it every day. Today I feature a young married couple who I truly believe define what it means to be partners in purpose. The reason I fell in love with this couple’s story is because they were honest enough to share their triumphs and their trials. Tammy gives us a glimpse into the journey God took their relationship on; a journey that I think is truly worth reading.  A journey where God took two broken people and restored their marriage and purpose, reminding us that God’s vision isn’t always easy, but it will always be worth it!

Tammy & Heath’s Story

“Heath and I started dating in our early twenties, I was the pageant queen, with over 100 pairs of shoes and a walk in closet of clothing and Heath was the basketball star that girls flocked over. Life was great, and we’re holding on to some great jobs. I had a very big PR position for a major company, and Heath was a technician for our competitor. We both had a great head on our body, very driven, wanting to conquer the world, willing to try new things and always seeking an adventure. For both of us it was always important to hold onto our passions and to involve one another in our passions and our vision. The blend was just perfect. Before we knew it, we were inseparable. You would not see one without the other. We were friends before anything else.

It was not too long after we started dating, around 2008 I birthed the idea of Little Ladies and Gents. It was the day I decided to take my nieces on a “Girls day” retreat to the salon to get pampered. Unfortunately, the whole experience was deplorable! The service, the way the staff behaved around the kids, everything was wrong.  I went home so upset about it and vented everything to Heath, and I said, “Something has to be done about this. Kids should have an environment to do all of the things they love in a relaxed and professional atmosphere” Hence; Little Ladies and Gents was born. Although Heath didn’t fully get my idea then, he still supported me by assisting me in researching the entire concept and added the cost and figures to the puzzle.  We put together a business proposal and left it there, and it simply remained a dream that I prayed about for many years to come.

About three years into dating Heath and I decided we would move in together. I had lost my job and became very ill; doctors said I would not be able to conceive children, and Heath's new job had him traveling a lot. This was a bit difficult on our relationship and during this time we went through a lot of trials. I found out things about him, and he discovered things about me that placed a huge burden on our relationship. We both began to wonder if being together made sense. However after a few weeks of living apart and overcoming a whole lot of drama, Heath couldn’t take it. He proposed to me early one November morning at his brother’s house and, of course, I said YES!

About a month later I continued to suffer from pains. The doctors told me a few months before I would have to have a surgery done to remove my ovaries. I never did. However one night the pain became so unbearable, Heath rushed me to the hospital. I took my urine samples and met with the doctor on duty. I explained my history and Heath sobbed that I could not have kids. I left him in the office with the doctor on duty as I went to receive the results for my urine sample. The nurse walked over and said “Congratulations” I asked for what? She said; "You’re pregnant!" I replied, “This is exactly why I do not attend the public hospitals, you guys are always mixing information and samples, those are not my results, I can’t have kids” but she was right! I was pregnant.

When Heath and I got married, I was 5.5 months pregnant with my first baby Mallow Tianna Francis. I was not working at the time but did a lot of service jobs to give back. But the dream of Little Ladies and Gents haunted me. Then a year later we had our son Heath Jr. This season was not the best time for us because both of us were without a job. Things got hard for us, and we began to grow apart in a major way, this was the real reality of marriage. We were no longer a pair of young adults having fun, we were going through trials and battles and figuring out how to cope with it together when we were beginning to dislike one another. How do I care for this person like I did before and display affection when in reality we have become so distant, that only our kids are keeping us together? We had gone from being a successful, young power couple in every newspaper every week to being stripped from the very life we knew...

Over time, we both did things that we weren’t proud of and had major challenges with staying together. We had lost touch of the essence of who we were together as a team due to the hardship and challenges we had been facing. So I decided one day to dust off my old plans and give it one more try, but I couldn’t do it alone. This challenge had nothing to do with Heath but everything to do with the void in my relationship with God. I know I needed to take my problems to Him, only He could fix it. The thing about that is when the flesh kicks in it’s easy to slide back into something more comfortable. So I continued to backslide and then cry out to God when it was done and go back to the same old routine.

Heath and I did not see eye to eye, nor cheek to cheek for that matter, we were just living together. One Sunday morning after we both had been out partying for almost a week for my birthday, a still small voice began to instruct me to “Wake up and come to church, there is healing.” I woke up, looked around asked Heath if he had said something to me, but he continued to sleep. I paid it no further attention and went back to bed. The voice repeated itself over and over again. I said “OMG, Heath we have to go to church!” Heath said, “Don’t bother me I am not going anywhere, I don’t have a voice speaking to me, you do!”

I took the hint, got ready, grabbed the kiddies and WALKED to church. Luckily it was around the corner lol. When I got there, my pastor and his wife said, "Welcome back, we were expecting you." I said, GOD if you brought me here you must have something to tell me. And He did. When the service was out, I was at the altar, renewing myself, cleansing myself, searching for more of HIM. I went home with a new attitude, went back to church that night and never looked back at the old me.

It wasn’t long before my new leaf rubbed off on Heath. He too began to come to church, and one day he too poured himself at the altar. The burdens we once felt became lighter because we both had someone to cast them to. Before we knew it, the love was back, the yin to my yang, my best friend we were powerful again, maybe not with the things of this world like the cars and loads of clothes and shoes and meaningless things, but we were in love and most of all we had God’s love.

For the next few months, we had no power and had no idea where the rent was coming from or food for the kids but guess what, despite it all God provided for us each and every day without fail. God covered all of our needs and we continued to push forward. One day, while in our home cleaning, a guy who attended our church, who we barely knew, called and asked if we were home. He asked where we lived, and it turned out he lived around the corner from us. He asked if he could stop by and we agreed. Puzzled and a bit embarrassed of our situation Heath met with him outside. He came by to say that he was at home fasting and praying, and God told him to invest in us.

He said, “I have no idea what your business plan is or if you even have one, but I have $20,000 to start it up, and it is yours.” Well, you could imagine how we felt. God had not given up on us; we had gone through the fire just so that we can love Him purely, without any agenda or wants just pure worship and He did the rest.

In less than two months, the business that was once a dream of almost five years had become a reality overnight. We didn’t have the money to do it and without us having to search for someone to assist us in financing it, God sent someone to our door. In our imperfect and humble state, God gave us the desires of our heart!

After a year into our business, life began to take its toll again, but this time we gave our burdens to God. He remained faithful to us. He was our rock. So although it became hard being a super mom, now an entrepreneur and still being a good wife, friend, prayer warrior for the family, God kept me. Heath and I blocked ourselves away from the world and turned solely to God, our marriage and our kids. We realize now that life won’t always be perfect, but we now find comfort in giving our trials to our Heavenly father.”

I truly believe God has created us all with a purpose and when you find someone who will support or share in that God – given purpose with you, you know you have found someone special. Heath and Tammy were only able to birth their purpose when they gave God the keys to their life. This couple has reminded me that when God is in it, there is truly NO limit to what He can do. If you are married and struggling to find purpose in your relationship I want to encourage you to cast your cares on Christ by giving Him the keys to your lives. If you are waiting on God to bless you with a spouse, trust Him to lead you to someone who you will be willing to partner and support you in your journey to purpose!