"So God told you he/she was the "ONE", 8 ways to figure out if it was really GOD or just YOU!"

          A lot of people at one time or another have said, “I feel like God has told me this is the person I should marry”. Now don’t get me wrong, often times they are people who end up getting married and sometimes being married for the rest of their lives. So I am not here to dispute the fact that you can hear from God. So all of the married people reading this post, I am not saying that God didn't tell you to marry that man or woman that you’re with, so you can cease fire lol, but how many of us can be honest about the fact that you have dated someone in the past or maybe you're dating someone now that you felt God told you was the “ONE” only to realizes months or years later that you were TOTALLY WRONG!

A few years ago I was dating a guy for a very short time, and when it didn't work out I was devastated and was convinced the break up would only be for a short while. So while trying to get over the relationship, I tried to grow closer with God and would do my devotion every morning, talking to God while writing in my journal what I felt God had revealed. One morning I remember God told me something that my ex would go through in the future. I took that information wrote it down and said to myself, well if this is going to happen then that obviously means we will get back together and get married after that, cause that’s the ONLY logical explanation, * rolls eyes at my former self* “RIGHT Kerel”! Fast forward a few years later, what God told me my ex was going to go through did happen, however it happened after he was already MARRIED!! I thank God daily because in time it was revealed to me why this wasn't my husband, but look how I took a small revelation God gave me years before and RAN with it. Egg on my face!

          So if you’re like me and have made a false, “God said this is the one” in the past you may be saying to yourself, how do you REALLY know then? How do you know if it’s the “right” one and funny thing is, it’s not only women who wonder about this question. Steve Harvey polled 100 single men on his show yesterday and 63% of the men said what scares them the most about commitment is picking the WRONG person. So it’s obvious that single men and women are concerned about finding the “one”.

Now many people may debate there is no “one” just PICK and get married! However that long debate is for another post, so if you are under the same thinking as I am, that your life is not random, it’s not a flip of a coin of being with just anyone, but that your life is filled with purpose and the person you decide to spend the rest of your life is directly related to that purpose keep reading;

1.   Stop obsessing over this person or finding this person that you felt God has said is the “one”, stop putting them first and stop making this “perfect” soon to be marriage in your head the center of your world. When you obsess you are making that person and this event an idol, you are now placing more energy into that relationship than you are into Christ. God has to be first, everyone else must come second. Seek Him, not a relationship!

2.   You have to equally yoked, this may seem like a dead giveaway, but sometimes it really isn’t, so please know if you’re not equally yoked then chances are they are NOT the “one”. Not just I believe God exist, you believe too, but we have the same values and moral codes, if you believe in God, you both have to be willing to place God as first in your lives and understand that everything else comes 2^nd. Do you want the same things; in a nut shell do your purposes align with each other. On a side note, if you don’t know what your purpose is, you will never know what the purpose is for that person in your life. So if that’s you, stop focusing on the “one” and start focusing on discovering your purpose!

3.   Try the spirit, pray this simple prayer; “God if it’s me who wants this and not you, remove this person out of my life and don’t EVER bring them back”. Sounds harsh right, but let’s face it we are known to get “all in our feelings” sometimes, so we have to be real when we ask God to open our eyes to see what we may be blinded to by love. I had a friend who asked God to do this before and 2 weeks later she found out the guy had gotten his ex girlfriend pregnant while they were together, you do the math. Try and be open to the leading of the spirit!

4.   Take some time away from that person; use the time to fast and pray and get in communion with God on your OWN, so that your thoughts are not clouded with love but only the voice of God. You should feel a peace if the relationship is Christ led

5.   Seek wise spiritual counsel from someone you TRUST and is led by God. Allow them to question your relationship and your partner.

6.   Learn to WAIT on God; If you are not in a relationship but you feel that God has told you someone is the “one”, DO NOT be a stalker, if you are a woman you have to WAIT for him to PURSUE you, yes I said wait. PLEASE don’t tell that man or Facebook what thus said the lord, the bible says; “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart”, do yourself a favor and keep that revelation to yourself tell the appropriate time boo. Megan Good said God told her NINE months before she ever went on a date with her husband DeVon Franklin that he was the one. She asked God what to do and God said “Do nothing just wait”. In that nine months she did not try to contact him even ONCE, why because it’s a man’s job to PURSUE, so ladies get busy in your purpose and wait! Guys if you feel she is the one, WAIT on God to give you the appropriate time and words to say when approaching her. Let your actions be Christ led

7.   Don’t get caught up in the prophecies, yes sometimes they are correct, but you have to always go to God for yourself after someone prophesies over you because there are false prophets out there. Don’t sit up tell you are old and grey because some prophet said that he’s tall, dark, handsome and RICH and every time God tries get your attention, you tune him out because what this prophet said can be the ONLY person you end up with, once again TRY the spirit. Maybe after you two build your empire he will become RICH, think boo!

8.   Last but not least; approach the situation with a gentle spirit. To be gentle is to recognize that God's ways and thoughts are high above our own. His thoughts are not our thoughts, if he says NO, no matter how hard it is for us to understand, we must humble ourselves to His warning. Stop obsessing over a list; because God doesn't give what we want, he gives us what we NEED!!

So in a nutshell do people hear from God, I honestly believe we do, but do people also hear themselves? We SURE do! So remember to keep your eyes on Christ and not on the “ONE” He has kept for you. Christ has already written your love story and he will reveal it all to you in His time! 

Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.