Sometimes you have to Lose to WIN again...

Sometimes you have to Lose to WIN again...

“Patience is a virtue that I seemingly don’t possess"  is a horrible saying that I would constantly repeat. I remember back in 2007 my family and I were going on a cruise and there was a mix up with my visa and the ticket agent told me I wouldn’t be able to go. I had never been on a cruise before, I was looking forward to this trip ALL summer and now I wasn’t going to be able to go, are you kidding me!!! I am embarrassed to say what happen next, but I can’t tell you where I’m going if I can never talk about where I came from. I broke down in the terminal of that cruise ship like a 2 year old. Literally screaming, jumping, stomping on the floor and crying in the corner. I am utterly still embarrassed as I type, I honestly through a childhood tantrum. Many people blame my huge obsession of having everything go my away on being the last child, but whatever it was God told me if I wanted to grow in Him, that tantrum mess had to go!

For those who follow my blog, you know that this year has been one of transformation and change and it’s through my experiences this year that I learned what it meant to be patient. I learned what it meant to trust God and remove my hand from the situation. I learned what it meant to finally grow up. I just wanted to share two quick experiences where God showed me that trusting him completely would lead to me to my victory!

Last year when I thought I was at the “end” of my reign, I was told handing over my crown would not be able to happen anymore because of circumstances beyond my control.  I was convinced that handing over my Miss Bahamas Earth crown was a moment I would NEVER get to see. I was devastated that I wouldn't have the opportunity to be a mentor to a new Queen or have a chance to bring closure to a chapter I worked so hard to achieve. I even wanted to host a personal event to publicly announce my reign was over *hangs head in shame*. That’s that ready to throw a tantrum again thing creeping up. Fortunately I had a good friend tell me to just leave it alone, you did everything you wanted to do in your reign and just be content with that and move on. God allows everything to happen for reason, so just trust that. So I did, I got over it and moved on with my life. Having the opportunity to do be able to still do it was the last thing on my mind. The opportunity was LOST, and life had gone on. So when I learned that it would actually happen in October 2013, the moment that I forgot about, God said even if it's over 2 years later, I want you to have your moment. Sometimes your delay is NOT a denial. Sometimes he restores the things you thought you lost.

But even when God doesn't restore things you lost, he gives you a win that you never knew was even possible. When you hit a certain age, a certain question begins to haunt you by various relatives and friends, these questions begin to make you feel anxious and insecure. I became impatient and asked God really when was it going to be my time, for marriage and kids. However God had a plan, He wanted to teach me a lesson; He asked me, how can I bless you with these things when you don’t even know who you are? How do you want to enter a union when you have so many things you need to work on first? So when I decided to dedicate some time to do me, I became amazed at the doors that began to open, the experiences I was able to enjoy and the God ordained friendships that I was able to make. My end of year blog will share more in depth of the amazing experiences I had during 2013 but this weekend alone was a true testament to the fact that I was finally able to find the me, he created me to be. Hosting a successful Blooming Orchids event and playing a lead role in my favorite musical Grease was simply unbelievable. For one it only could have been God that gave me enough strength to not pass out from complete exhaustion and two the amount of joy I received from doing what I love to do really gave me a natural high. One of my sorors told me she could see that I was in my total element on stage that night and I surely was!

 I have referred to 2013 as one of my most challenging years before, but I must note that it was also one of the best years that I ever experienced. God taught me to not focus on my “lost”, but focus on everything that I gained and I’m so glad I did. Sometimes the very thing you’re desperately looking for and need is staring you right in the face, so take a look in the mirror, that’s how I was able to find me.

Anna Bachinsky shared an awesome reminder that sometimes God makes you wait, He kept Moses in a desert for 40 years, Joseph in a prison cell for 10 years, Abraham without a child for 100 years and David on the run for 15 years.  And maybe He is keeping you right where you’re at for the same reason He kept these men for so many years: to build your faith. To build your trust in Him when the storm keeps raging, the battle keeps going and breakthrough and victory doesn't seem near.

Patience is now a virtue that I continually strive to possess. Trust your struggle; you will be amazed of how God unfolds your story when you begin to have the faith and the patience to trust him.

1 Corinthians 13: 11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things