How do I know if I'm REALLY ready for Love

When I was 16 my first ever real boyfriend asked me if I had ever been in love. I quickly said no, and proceeded to give my ever so eloquent response of 1st Corinthians chapter 13 on why I said no. In my naivety I riddled off this scripture like I was the sharpest bible scholar you know, not that this scripture wasn’t the truth, I just wasn’t. I sat there reciting this verse like I really knew what any of this meant. The truth is I didn’t. I had no clue what it meant to be patient, kind, not jealous or self-seeking. However despite not knowing the truth behind these verses, a couple months passed, butterflies continued to grow and before I knew it I was in the back of his car whispering, “ I love you too!” * rolls eyes*, But lord knows I was not ready for what would happen next…. 

NOW if you read my book; The One Year Challenge, you would know exactly what happened next, look at you was ready for the juicy details! But seriously it was a laundry list of failed relationships, with the words I love you constantly being repeated when I didn’t even know what it meant to love my self. How could I,  I was too busy trying to write my own love story, my storybook fairy tale without ever once sharing my heart with the one who created love; Christ. 

You see I could never be a part of the Greatest love story ever told until I really got acquainted with the one who was the actual author of my fate; Jesus Christ. The one I consistently CHOSE not to love. 

Some of you may say Kerel, what you mean you CHOSE not to love Christ. Once you are a Christian doesn’t that simply mean you love Christ, not necessarily. You see some of us may have never thought of love as a choice, but most of us know that love is an ACTION. 

John 14:15 if you love me you will keep my commands 

You know how many times I broke Christ commands, how many times I consciously CHOSE my desires over His. I could say I love God with my lips every day until I’m blue in the face, but my actions showed otherwise. 

For example one of the things I’m currently dealing with breaking the cycle of is being judgmental, I know God wants me to offer grace but sometimes I just ignore it and instinctually respond how my flesh would, in judgment! 

At that moment the action I choose is to not show love to my Heavenly Father when I arrogantly judge his child because they sin differently than me, I’m choosing my flesh. So you see when I consciously make a decision to go against something I know won’t make Christ feel loved, I’m choosing NOT to love him. 

I’m not saying if I sin that means I don’t love God, we’re Human we will sin every day but when we don’t make a conscious effort to grow from what once kept us captive or we willingly and consistently repeat things that go against actions we KNOW go against his commands, our actions are saying I don't love you. 

For example: If your boyfriend tells you I don’t feel loved when you scream at me in public and yet you keep doing it, guess what will happen when you say I love you, He’s not going to believe you and he will probably leave you too because LOVE is an action! 

We constantly say I will never stay with a guy who sleeps with someone else while we are together, yet we claim to love Jesus and will sleep with our boyfriend every week and know for a fact Christ asked us not to fornicate. 

I could just imagine, Christ up in Heaven, “Like HOW! Love is an action boo!” 

That’s why our relationship to Christ and how we love him is the foundation for our relationship with others. If I can’t consciously choose to engage in the commands that demonstrate my love for Christ; the one who died for me, provides me and covers me every day, how long will I be able to honestly engage in loving actions toward another flawed human being. Especially when we are bound to piss each other off because of our daily imperfections. 

Love is a choice and an action, we make a conscious decision to act in a way that communicates that I care about what you care about. And when we don’t act in this way I’m choosing NOT to love you. 

So are you really ready to LOVE? 

Share your thoughts below, or email me at kerelpinder@gmail.com, I'd love to hear from you. 

If you are in Freeport and would love to connect, I will be sharing my story this Thursday at UB, would love to see you there!!