"Birthing your Blessing" - Interview with Jillian Storr

According to the March of Dimes, as many as 50% of all pregnancies end in a miscarriage -- most often before a woman misses a menstrual period or even knows she is pregnant. About 15% of recognized pregnancies will end in a miscarriage. This means that 1 out 2 women that you know, may have experienced a miscarriage, without even knowing it. This also means that 1 out of every 10 women you know have also gone through the pain of knowing they miscarried.  

I have never experienced this kind of pain, but my heart often grieves for the women who have. My heart is heavy for women who sit in silence, ashamed, devastated and filled with the constant questions of why and will I ever be able to have a baby? There are so many married women who desire to give their husband the family that they have always prayed for and dreamed about. Unfortunately they often go to bed in tears with a heart filled with silent prayers to God. These silent prayers became more real when my friend Jillian shared her inspiring story with me. It served as a reminder to me, that even when you reach an all time low, God still hasn’t forgotten about you!

Jillian’s Testimony…

While feeling on top of the world, married with our first child, and living my dream of being a successful dentist, tragedy struck. March 2014, we were overjoyed to find out we were pregnant for a second time. We went to the doctor and heard the baby's heartbeat at about 6 weeks. We announced the wonderful news to family and friends, without hesitation.

About a month later, we went to the doctor and were faced with devastating news; our baby's heart had stopped. I was 8 weeks pregnant at the time. How could this be? I thought to myself, I did everything right! I'm a good person. I am healthy. I've already announced the news to everyone. This must be a mistake. I was scheduled for a D&C and searching for answers to why God would do this to me.

 I went through sadness to disbelief to anger to shutting completely down and being bitter in a matter of days. I didn't even want to pray...I became so angry. Fortunately my husband is the man that will pray in the middle of an argument. He will break out in prayer the moment he feels the devil stirring up some scheme to push us out of God's Will. He was strong when I didn’t have the strength to be. In times like these, I am most grateful for him. We received the news Monday evening. It was confirmed again on Tuesday morning and by Friday morning The D&C was done.

On Friday evening, after lots of prayer for strength in between, there was a surprising yet amazing amount of peace that overtook me. There was a trust that God is sovereign and all-knowing. There was a strength that emerged from a place of hopelessness and weakness. It was definitely all God!

By Monday, I was back at work. Although I was walking in the peace of God, I am still human. I still had moments of sorrow. I also had this extreme need to try and get pregnant again. For anyone that has had a miscarriage, this feeling of 'less than a woman' takes place. There is a yearning to experience pregnancy to feel like you have that 'woman's worth' again. So every month I got my period, I balled my eyes out! After I cried every tear I had, I followed by talking to my God who knew, knows, and will always know the ins and outs of my heart and desires.

 In just a few months, God did it! He blessed us with our third pregnancy. Today, I am 38+ weeks pregnant and so eager to meet our baby girl any day now! God is so good! I am glad to know that I am not ashamed of my experience. In full transparency before this experience, I looked down on the women who had been through it. I thought, in my ignorance, miscarriages only happened to unhealthy women, drug abusers, smokers, or just bad people. With the knowledge I have now, 1 in 4 women go through this. That was important for me to know. My OB/GYN said miscarriages are so common that they deliver this news 2-3 times per day.

 In the vast majority, there is nothing that was done to cause it and there was nothing that could have been done to stop it from happening. With this experience, I have had many ignorant questions and comments. I had to however exercise humility and remember that I was once that person, with the ignorant questions and assumptions.

In life, we go through things...sometimes very hard things, but no matter what it may be, God always has a plan. Since my miscarriage, I have had the opportunity to encourage several of my close friends who also went through a similar experience. I am a living testimony that it doesn't end there. There are blessings to be had! As I sit here, fat and round as can be, I am appreciative to have a compelling and effective testimony to share.  God has given me a purpose behind my pain and my prayer is that every day I will continue stay in His Will and that His purpose in me be fulfilled.

If you can relate to Jillian’s story in any way I want to remind you that God has not forgotten about you either. We may not always understand his process, but trust me when I say there is beauty in learning to cast your cares on your father in heaven. Zephaniah 3:17 tells us “The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing."

Maybe you have never had a child or maybe you’ve been praying for 10 years and it doesn’t seem like God is listening. Everyone around you seems to be getting pregnant so easily except you!  Believe me when I say, if it’s God’s will, He will open up your womb, just like he did for Sarah, for Rachel and for Hannah. Ever notice there were many women in the Bible with the same plight, I believe that was God’s way of going before you and letting you know that He can do what may seem impossible.

Whether you lost a child, a dream, a relationship or a business project, God wants to remind you, that you can try again. If you are a single woman and scared that this will be your struggle one day as well, stop worrying about your age, God has already gone before you and He also has a blessing waiting to be birthed inside of you. We just have to learn that this blessing will only come in His perfect timing. Don’t give up on God, because He hasn’t given up on you. He is the God of Restoration!

Update: Jillian gave birth to her beautiful baby girl on July 5^th, 2015. Her name is Rori Alaya Storr. She is healthy and the splitting image of her beautiful mother.

Friendship Connection – Jillian and I knew each other’s faces from around Freeport, where we both grew up. We however didn’t actually begin a friendship until I think 2005 while we were both in college; we actually connected over Hi5, lol weird I know. We were both I guess at the time looking for other young Christian women wanting to do life God’s way and just really wanted to build a support system for each other. Since we became friends, we have never lived in the same place, but have built a great friendship through the ministry of emails and what’s-app; swapping stories on relationships, career goals, personal projects as well as our walks with Christ. Our catch up sessions when she visits home, tend to be quick, yet powerful. I really admire her and I am so happy to watch her obedience to God unfold into the many blessings she has in her life. I have another testimony that I would love to share on another day on how I watched God take her from the wrong relationship into a new courtship and then eventually a God ordained marriage. Jillian and her husband Rorey now have a family of four and they currently live in Mid Rivers, Missouri. I am so proud I got to watch her growth through that entire journey. Jillian is truly one of my kingdom sisters.

If this message has touched you in anyway and you would like someone to pray with you, please feel free to send me a message at kerelpinder@gmail.com. Sometimes we all need someone to pray with us, as we seek to navigate our blessing in the midst of the storms of our life.