A letter to my 21 year old self

As I sat to dinner with my 19 year old godchild and listened to the innocence of this chapter of her life and the wisdom she possessed (that I wish I knew at that age) I was floored. Thinking why I couldn’t have been this focused, why couldn’t I be this wise. Of course she didn’t have it all figured out but she had a lot more figured out than I did at that age. Making mistakes is a part of life so I won’t say that I regret my journey, it is because of my journey that I am who I am today. However I have often thought, especially after this dinner, if I could write a letter to my younger self. What would I say?

Duck lips were in style from back then I guess ;)

Through the endless journey of self discovery, heartbreaks, and life’s setbacks my words of wisdom would focus on Purpose, Purity and Passion. ..

So to the younger version of me,

Purpose

Choose purpose, stop boxing yourself into society’s version of a “good” career. Lawyers, Doctors and Accountants, although they fill the “status quo” contrary to popular they are not the only jobs out there. You can be a writer, producer, stylist or even a Fragrance chemist, yes I said a Fragrance chemist! The point is you can’t limit your dreams because the world doubts your ability to succeed. We were all created with gifts and talents and just because your gift doesn’t look like everyone else’s, it doesn’t mean you weren’t purposed to live everyday using that gift. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Pageants (though totally out of my comfort zone at the time) is still one of the best decisions I ever made, it broke me out of my shell and helped me discover who I was created to be. Life isn’t about finding a career that makes you a lot of money, it’s about growing everyday in the purpose that Christ created you for.

I was always a little crazy, I've learned to accept that lol

I remember sitting in a practice interview room for a pageant and the very notable speaker asked us what career we would like to have, I sat there trying to think of the most impressive answer. I didn’t search me and tried to figure what I loved more than anything, I thought what would make me look “good” to this speaker. The girl next to me said an actress, I laughed to myself and said how foolish we live in the Bahamas girl, and he’s going to think you are so dumb and unrealistic. On the contra he commended her dreams and admired her confidence. (Shame was I) and the funny thing is, years later she is currently living in New York fulfilling her dream as an actress, even before this came to pass in that moment I secretly envied her, because she wasn’t afraid to be true to her dream, her gift or her purpose. Baby girl chase purpose not paper or approval!

Purity

In terms of relationships I hate to break it to you, but that little goal you made as a child to be married by 21 is not going to happen. Heck I don’t even know if you will be married by 31 but there is still some time for that one so I won’t jump the gun lol. But seriously what I want to tell you is that not being married by 21 is not the hell you thought it would be. The truth is there is so much that you need to learn about you, that you may have never learned if you got to fulfill your little man made goal.

 You will meet some really great guys, just avoid making them quasi gods, and keep your focus on the one true God and anyone who doesn’t accept that will fall to wayside. Don’t hate them for it, cherish the lessons they taught you and learn to hone in on the gift of goodbye. Stay out your feelings and learn the beauty that comes with seasons that require you to be alone. Know that in the wrong relationship you could NOT be “alone” but still feel very lonely. Learn to fall in love with you and Christ FIRST and although you may be “alone” you will never be lonely.

Going for the "cute" look I guess

Hold on to your purity as long as you can, I strongly suggest you wait until marriage. Your partner should lead you to Christ not away from him. “Cause bae aint bae, if bae don’t pray”. You have to be so careful who you give your heart, mind and body too. The wrenching pain of trying to get it back is not worth it. The overwhelming amount of bondage that you will feel when trying to let go, of a “love” you had to say goodbye to will cripple you from moving forward. Although you may recover, the scars that you are left with could have all been avoided if you had just committed to keeping Christ first.

Give Christ your heart, give him your body and run as fast as you can to his feet.  You are worth more than good for right now, you are worth keeping in Christ eyes, you are worth saving, and Christ thinks you are simply to die for. These are not just empty words of nothingness, Christ died to show you just how much he truly loves you. So wait patiently for the mate God has chosen for you.

Christ thinks you are WORTH IT!!! 

Passion

Learn to enjoy the things that bring you joy. Often when people ask what is one word you will use to describe yourself and I always say passionate. Because of this passion I urge you to indulge in the great things that life possesses. Remember your family is priceless. Choose good friendships and mentors that tell you the truth, not what makes you feel good. The kind of friend that you can share a laugh with until your side hurts. Take the time to enjoy a good meal and I mean a really good meal. Being on a budget is smart but don’t miss out on the opportunity to enjoy a good food and a good glass of wine. TRAVEL!!!! Fulfill that bucket list. We are no longer limited to the small island we were born on. See the world and make friends along the way. READ!!! Someone once said if you want to hide something from a black person put it in a book. Prove them wrong, don’t be that person, that is hidden from the endless possibilities. Reading will give you life! There is nothing like a really good book.

I really don't know what I was trying to go for here

Don’t hold grudges there is peace found in forgiveness. I stayed friends with a lot of my ex’s heck I’m even friends with some of their ex’s (Yes some may describe me as weird) lol the point is life is too short to hold on to petty foolishness. If you are going to jump into life and take advantage of all the great things life has to offer with zeal and passion, you have to be willing to let go of the things that don’t really matter. Stop comparing your lives to others and PLEASE don’t believe everything you read on social media. Live in the moment. Life won’t be perfect, sometimes it will suck. Sometimes you will not win. But every time you will learn. Learn as much you can, forgive yourself and remember no matter how many times you mess up, you are still a character worth rooting for. Discover what makes you happy and live the life you were meant to live!

Signed,

The wiser version of yourself,

P.S. I still spend every day trying to be a better version of me ;)!

To every little girl or grown woman who wanted a second chance at living the life they were meant to live, I wanted to remind you, that you can start again today.

1^st Corinthians 13: 11- When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

**SPECIAL NEWS****

Next month I celebrate TWO years as a blogger. YIPPIE!!! As a writer I am working on another project and because of this I felt lead to use the next year to focus on the testimonies of others around me. I have watched the hand of God in so many people, who may not be everyday writers but definitely have a message worth sharing. There are people who can provide so much wisdom because of seasons they have actually experienced and therefore I wanted the opportunity to share that with you.  So I will start year three (3) of my blogging journey featuring one of my very good friends Jillian Storr on “Birthing your Blessing” Trust me her story will really blow your mind, therefore I can’t wait to share it with you in AUGUST!!! So be sure to return!