I want a REAL relationship with God, but I don’t know where to START??

I could NEVER sing songs like “He wants it ALL” or “All I NEED is you Lord”, the guilt of the song would cripple me, because I honestly thought I couldn’t give God my ALL. When my ALL meant that I couldn’t go to certain places with friends, when giving my ALL went against the relationship I had with my current boyfriend or when giving God my ALL meant reading my bible and going to church when I really didn’t want to. It simply wasn’t true; I didn’t want to ALWAYS please God I wanted to please my flesh. See as long as I could live with half of my leg in the world and half of my leg with God, I was good, right?? Why not, everyone else was doing it; they didn’t seem to be dying from fire and brimstone. So I worshiped on Sundays and did what was pleasing to me during the week, I mean I acknowledged God, I was a morally good person, so I still was going to heaven right??

Little did I know that in God’s eyes I was living worst than a person who just decided to out rightly live a life sin, Revelation 3:16 says “So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth”. Most times when we don’t like how something taste we quickly swallow it and wash it down with something to drink, but when something is really repulsive and we can’t even bear to swallow it, we spit that mess right out of our mouth. Well that’s what God wanted to do with me, it’s what he wants to do with us, when we willfully raise our hands on Sunday and pray to him but intentionally live a life of sin.

So many of us claim to love God and profess that we have a relationship with Him, but do we really? Now I know nobody is perfect, including me as this has been a trying process, but God isn’t an idiot, He knows when we have made a mistake and when we have made a conscious decision to just live life a certain way. I got tired of not being able to sing the song “He wants it All” but when you have been living a certain way for so long it’s hard to establish a REAL relationship with God.

On my journey I have had 8 helpful tips that have helped to strengthen my relationship with God. So if you’ve said before I want a NEW start but I just really don’t know how, God wants you to know that you can start NOW. So if you’re looking for the guidance on how to stop “half-stepping” in your relationship with Christ, I strongly encourage you to read the list below:

1.      Spend time with HIM:  my favorite time is in the morning before I start my day, yours may be at night, no matter the time this is a date you should ALWAYS keep. When we are in a romantic relationship, especially when it’s new we talk to that person everyday for hours. We don’t allow a day to go by without checking in, we are desperately trying to get to know that person and want the person to get to know who we are and we don’t want anyone to interrupt “our” time, well believe it or not that’s what God wants. God desperately wants to introduce and reveal to you the person He created you to be. “You mean God has a particular plan for my life?” YUP! He does and He wants you to get to know Him by reading his word (Bible) DAILY, because when you get to know Him, He will begin to reveal His plan for you.

2.      Be obedient to His word: There are some things our new generation has scratched off as being expected by God, but no matter how “NEW our generation is God’s word is the same today, yesterday and forever. Sex before marriage NO matter how we want to twist it, is a sin Heb. 13:4, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge." or when we just aren’t in the mood for Church, but truth is refusing to engage in a weekly worship will weaken our relationship with Christ. Heb 10: 25 “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near”. Remember church doesn’t have to be boring, you can choose a church that relates and speaks directly to you!  I can go on and on about ways you can be obedient but the only way for us to really know is by reading His word for ourselves. Therefore it’s important to choose a Bible that you can understand and grow from.

3.      Journal – This is one of my personal favorites, because this is where we get to be REAL with God. I encourage everyone who spends time with God to write down His revelations to you and write down the feelings you simply want to tell him. You may have read the first two and already said “I don’t know Kerel this sounds like a lot sacrificing already, I’m not sure I really want to do this REAL relationship with God thing”. In your journal is your chance to express that to Him and tell Him “this will be HARD, God I need you to show me how to be serious with you” and I guarantee you won’t regret it. I have been journaling for almost 2 years now and each morning it’s how I communicate to God, it’s rewarding, therapeutic and helps me to tract my growth and see the areas that I still need to release to Him and most importantly it’s amazing to watch God answer prayers. Tears on a page last year, were greeted with smiley faces to answered prayers this year, as I sat in awe of God’s favor over my life. Seriously start journaling TODAY!

4.      Listen to MUSIC, SERMONS and READ Books that help you grow: I almost can’t explain how vital this is to building your relationship with Christ. I went from falling asleep in church to spending my Friday night, shoot almost every night watching a sermon from Toure Roberts, Andy Stanley, T.D Jakes, or Myles Munroe, I’m currently killing Toure. But seriously I could go on and on about books that have contributed so much to me discovering my purpose and utilizing my gifts. John Maxwell, Devon Franklin, Joyce Myer, Rick Warren, the list is endless. The point is when you deposit positive things into your spirit it begins to show. Two Years before Tony Gaskins appeared on Oprah and became an international Motivational speaker and author he would spend hours listening to positive podcast and reading inspirational books. My gospel playlist expanded during one of my darkest hours and now those songs have built my spirit so much more, even years after my downfall. Trust me the minute you begin to feed your spirit you will begin to walk in your purpose.

5.      Accept that your life will CHANGE: Sometimes we see change as a bad thing, when it really isn’t, it may be hard or uncomfortable but it’s never bad. Growth is so important and sometimes in order to get to the next level that God wants to take us, we have to leave certain people behind and we have to give up certain things. People who know you will be upset and tell you; “you change on me man”, don’t be afraid to tell them “yeah I did, because in Christ I was made new, the old man is gone and now I am a new creature, I am now starting to be the person God created me to be and I pray for the same thing for you”. So accept that you will look and act different and that’s actually a good thing.

6.      GAIN a SPIRITUAL Mentor: Staying on tract is hard especially when so many things in your life begin to change, knowing the right choices to make and navigating a new relationship with Christ can honestly sometimes be scary. You will be tempted several times to return to your old self, but should be patient with yourself because it’s a process. A process that’s almost impossible to have without a spiritual person grounded and seasoned in the word that can help you along the way. One of my spiritual mentors is my mom but it doesn’t have to be a parent, just someone older who has placed God first and will encourage and guide you to do the same.

7.      Establish Kingdom FRIENDSHIPS: This was the one thing I worried about THE MOST when I wanted to get serious about my relationship with God. I was like God seriously I need you to send me NON-boring friends (be real you know you thought all save people were stale lol), so I really wanted to get to know relatable women that were on fire for God because I knew I would need someone to help keep me accountable. An as soon as I started doing work for Him, just like that He answered my prayer! I remember one time my #rideordie and I were going out and she was like “ that’s your orange jumper in the closet”, I was like “yeah but I feel like I need to sew it up in the front, because right now it a little too revealing, so I don’t think I’m going to wear it tonight” and the thing is my heart was heavy all day about wearing it already and just like that she was like “ohh ok, good, cause I was just gone say where you going behind me in that lol”, I said “Thank you Lord for that confirmation!”. Sometimes you need those people in your corner who can help to be your reminder when the road gets rough and cloudy and YES IT WILL become rough!

8.      FAST & PRAY: fasting is a word that may scare some of us because so many times the focus is on the lack of food and Lord knows we love some FOOD. However the purpose of fasting should be to take your eyes off the things of this world, to focus completely on God. Therefore it could be anything you do too much of, I usually do instagram and facebook when I fast along with the denial of food. My suggestion is starting at something you can manage, like liquids only until 12p.m. or until 3p.m. or just one day of liquids. It’s also important to remember that it’s not mandatory, however people engage in fasting as a way to demonstrate to God, and to ourselves, that we are serious about our relationship with Him. Fasting helps us to gain a new perspective and a renewed reliance upon God. Praying to God is also something we should do, not only to ask for things but more importantly to ask Him what we can do for Him. Sometimes we may not want to do what He wants us to do, for example I don’t do this blog because I suddenly got a burst of energy to tell the world my business, but I do believe it’s a part of my purpose J.

My journey is still a young one, there is so much more for me to learn and so many more times I know that I will mess up, but when I say I am Christian and I’m going to give God my ALL, I’m not saying I’m perfect, I’m actually admitting that I’m NOT and because of that I have decided to turn my life over to a perfect, all knowing God, my creator, so that I can live the life that He created for me. I can finally see myself how He sees me; fearfully and wonderfully made. So if this blog has touched you in any way or you just want someone to pray with you or provide encouragement to you, please email me at kerelpinder@gmail.com and let me know. Following Christ is not always easy, but it’s a little easier when you know you have a friend in your corner praying for you!

Love you Loads!!!

Kerel