20 REASONS WHY BEING SINGLE TOTALLY ROCKS

20 REASONS BEING SINGLE TOTALLY ROCKS!!

A year and half ago, I thought I would be the last person to write a blog about how being single TOTALLY ROCKS, I was more likely to write a piece on why being single TOTALLY SUCKS! Lol (let’s take a minute to thank God for change). I was just dead hot up to be married and have some babies, don’t get me wrong there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting these things, but we must remember there is a season for everything and if we spend so much time rushing through some of the key seasons of our lives we will miss a whole lot of lessons and some amazing experiences.  

A little over a year ago I decided to take Andy Stanley’s year challenge; the Year challenge dares singles that have been dating their way and making selfish decisions throughout their previous relationships to take a YEAR off from dating, to learn how to really love God, love themselves and to eventually learn to date God’s way. At the beginning of December 2012 during a low moment in my life I asked a spiritual mentor, how did he know his wife was really the "one", he said to me, she had everything I was looking for :s. Confused by this statement, he said instead of elaborating, I just want you to watch something. It was the series “The New Rules of Love Sex and Dating”, I got to sermon number 2 heard the year challenge issued and shut that computer DOWN! Take a year off Lord; I said God are you serious! I’m 27, ain nobody gat time for that! 

 In January 2013 after fasting for a long time and beginning to read the Purpose Driven life, I knew I had to make some changes and trust God to take over my love life. So January 30^th, 2013 I made a commitment not to date unless I REALLY felt God wanted me to be with that person. About a month later in early March I saw someone advertising the series on Facebook, I had blocked it out so much that I only recognized the title “The New Rules of Love, Sex and Dating”. I remembered then that I watched it but didn't finish. I didn't remember anything else about it or the reason why I didn't finish it. So I popped it in once again, heard the year challenge issued and instantly remembered why I didn't want to hear this crap lol. But this time I listened to all of it and then said alright, alright Lord I get it, I am going to be obedient and take a year off from dating geez! lol. So I said to myself Jan 30th 2014, I will resume dating, sigh! It wasn't easy but I knew it would be worth it. It took me a long time to be transparent in my blog about my year commitment, but I couldn’t be open until God gave me the release. Taking a year off took a lot of self control but it proved to be such a WORTHWHILE and rewarding experience. It also led me to discover the list that I want to share with you today; 20 REASONS why being Single Totally Rocks: 

1.  I get to spend so much MORE time with God – whether it’s early in the morning, late at night or a random Sunday afternoon on the beach; date nights with God help me to hear his voice so much clearer. As a married woman there will still be personal time that I get to spend with God but some of that time will now have to be shared with my husband.

2. I get to spend more time getting to know and learning more about me – It’s funny how so many of us despite our age don’t know who we really are, what we’re passionate about, what makes us happy, our life goals, our dreams and the ultimate purpose that God has created us for. If you don’t understand what your purpose is before you meet your mate, then you won’t understand their purpose in your life. You will eventually ignorantly abuse that relationship instead of blossoming from it.

3.       I can fully engulf my energy and time into spending long hours developing the passions and goals God has assigned to me during this season- i.e. my play Sarah’s Wedding #unbelievableexperience 

4.       I have more time to read – I currently have a busy schedule, so fitting in leisure reading is already a hard task, but it’s one of my favorite pastimes that tremendously contributes to my growth. So if I have hard time juggling it into my schedule now, I can’t imagine how much I will have to fight to keep it in my schedule as a married woman.

5.       I can work on improving my bad habits without jacking someone else up in the process – We’re human therefore we ALL have issues, but there are some issues that you should work on getting rid of before you decide to settle with a mate; selfishness, impatience, neediness and jealousy are not cute, they will either drive your mate away or drive you apart, either way it doesn’t make for a healthy relationship. This season is the perfect time to work on you. 

6.       My decisions are not dependent on someone else – I can currently say yes to last minute dinner plans, go back to school, spend a weekend in Trinidad or take a job offer in L.A. without asking a soul. Other than Jesus, there is no one else’s that HAS to be involved in the decisions I make. In a marriage your choices have to be what’s best for both of you and not just what’s best for you. 

7.       I will have a greater appreciation for my mate – When you value the time God has spent preparing you as a single person you will understand the true value of the person He brings into your life. You will choose a relationship where the man will love you as Christ loves the church and you will gladly respect and submit to him as your King because you know the time you spent preparing to be his Queen. 

8.       I can travel more – Do married couples travel, of course they do, but it tends to not be as high on the priority list, as other factors naturally take a higher precedence; mortgage, investments, children or the planning for children. 

9.       More ME TIME – Naturally like the other things that involve you; your ME time will also decrease. I remember when I despised ME time. Until I realized how fulfilling it was to learn how to just be content spending time with myself. If you don’t like being around yourself, why should anyone else want to be around you. Sometimes it’s good to step away from the outside noise of life, get centered and spend some time with you and your own thoughts. Married couples do yearn for that “me” time and they either have to sometimes beg for it or feel guilty about wanting it. It’s natural to want to spend time alone and this season gives you a lot of time to do it! Cherish it while it’s here. 

.   10. I don’t have to “check in”- When you’re in a relationship you really do appreciate that someone cares when you arrive home, but sometimes it can get to be a bit much.  As a married person you want to respect your spouse enough to let them know when you will be in, as a common courtesy and form of respect to them and your relationship. However the single season on the other hand gives you the FREEDOM to come and go as you please, so enjoy it NOW! 

11.  No “relationship drama” Geez! – No matter how care free you are someone will always find a way to create some drama for you; “They think they cute together nah”, “You think he really want be with her”, “I’m going to cut up with him just to make her jealous”, “He don’t even claim her on Facebook dred”, “ You know her husband cheats on her right” ughhhh. Majority of times there just rumors spread by haters who want what the people in those relationships have, but regardless knowing there won’t be a text, email or inbox message of ill words about “my significant other”, for me to read when I get home, does make me smile J. In this season this is one less thing you will have to stress about. My advice is even in a marriage don’t let the small stuff sweat ya! 

12.   It gives you time to heal – Don’t learn the hard way that hurt people, hurt people.  If you’ve dealt with any pain from any of your previous relationships, you should use this season to really let God heal you, forgive others and forgive yourself. You will be no good to a marriage or even a relationship if you haven’t healed old wounds. 

13.   You still have a chance to get this married thing right – You can smile at the fact that you’re not currently sitting in a marriage thinking “I chose the wrong person”, “I am so unhappy” or “how did I get here”. You still have the opportunity to have the kind of marriage you always dreamed of. That’s a good thing, so don’t rush to get into a marriage that you might regret. 

14.   You get to spend more time with your FAMILY – One day while walking with my mom God reminded me that this time should be spent with her as much as possible and also having as much lunch dates with my dad as I can. One day you will move away and have your own family and won’t have this time and hopefully it’s when their super old and grey but naturally one day they may not be here. Don’t spend time sulking about this season, instead of taking advantage of all the great memories you could be creating with your family. 

15.   You get to SAVE MONEY – Valentines, Birthday’s, Christmas, Anniversary, boy those gifts is add up. Not to mention investments and every other priority that comes with a marriage and don’t add a child into the equation, that will really be it for you. This season as a single person is one of the last times you will really get to spend your money on you, so use it wisely, but also remember to SAVE. 

16.   My happiness isn’t contingent on anyone else - As a married person you still shouldn’t allow your spouse to control your emotions but to some degree because you are one, whatever happens that involves your spouse will naturally affect you in some way. 

17.   Meeting New people can be Fun and  Exciting – And even if it doesn’t work out, you have either learned a valuable lesson, made a really good friend or have a very funny story to tell your girlfriends in regards to the so called “game” some dude tried to run on you lol

18.   No one complains about your annoying habits and you have no annoying habits to complain about – “You wake up too early” “You always leave the toilet seat up”. Enjoy it now, no matter who you marry something they do will irritate you and you will have to learn to deal with it. Until then the only annoying person you have to deal with is YOU! :p 

19.   You have more time to pour into so many other people – If you love to mentor, help in the community and give back in any way this will still be possible when you’re married, but chances are the big conferences, hours of mentoring sessions and seminars you once planned as a single person will have to be reduced, unless it already a part of your full time job. This reduction doesn’t make you a bad person but a married person simply has different priorities. An as a single person giving back to so many people who can benefit from your love and attention is something you can do endlessly, Use this time wisely. 

20.    You have the chance to learn how to nip your insecurities in the bud:  If you allow the famous question to singles: “Why aren’t you married yet?” depress you and make you insecure you will be insecure your whole life.  After you get married you will feel insecure about not having a child, after you get a child, you will feel insecure about having just one, and then you will feel insecure because your child or husband isn’t able to do what your friend’s husband or child can do. The vicious cycle will continue and your insecurity will continue to grow. Be content in your season, kill the insecurity NOW!!

So as you can see there are MANY reasons to be content in this season. Now before you think my year challenge has transformed me into a anti – marriage, man hating, I’m going to be a 50 year old spinster with 20 cats kind of lady, let me say; I still believe marriage is one of the most INCREDIBLE gifts God can ever give you and it is still something that I desire. I’m excited about sharing my life with the person God has chosen for me and creating a family that I can give my all to in God's time. This year has simply taught me that I no longer have to allow that desire to control me or keep me from enjoying all of the AMAZING experiences God is giving me RIGHT now during my season of singleness.   Being single totally ROCKS and I hope you can now see it too!

Ecclesiastes   3:11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end